Use these conversation starters to promote love, communication, and mutual understanding.

I know that I must have forgotten to do something important this week with you, or for you, but don’t hold it against me. I really want to improve the way I love you. Could you tell me what it is, so that I can do it today?

You seemed upset today during our conversation: Was it something I said,[3] or the way I said it, that troubled you?

Can you help me to understand why you…?

Can you help me to understand what you meant when you said…?

I may have offended you or hurt you this week without knowing it. Please let me know, so that I can love you better and ask for your forgiveness where necessary.

On a scale of 1-5, which of these is most important to you in our relationship?

Affection ( )

Sex ( )

Respect ( )

Companionship ( )

Conversation ( )

I know that I can be wrong (and have been wrong) about the way I see things. So, I need your help to know if I am misunderstanding you. When you…, I felt… Is that what you meant…?

Is there anything that you would buy if we had more money?

I really want to get to know you better: If you could do one thing in your life that you would really enjoy, what would it be?

If you could go on vacation to one place, where would you want to go?

Do you think that we are having enough sex? Are you satisfied sexually? If not, what would you like to see us doing more of sexually?

I really enjoyed making love last night !!! I especially loved it when you…

Last night, I blew it when I…

On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the best, how are we doing this week? What can I do to get us to level 10?

Can we talk about how you are feeling? I really want to listen to you. I know that sometimes I interrupt you to get my point across. But now, I just want to listen to you, so that I can truly understand what you have been trying to say.

I know that it has been difficult for us to discuss____________, but I think I need to listen more to what you are trying to say. If this could work out perfectly the way you see it, what would be the best possible outcome? What do you think is the best way for this to work out?

Or,

I am not sure what happened earlier, but I need your help to understand. I feel like …but that’s my feelings. That’s the way I felt when I thought that you…. Am I wrong? What am I missing?

About pastorbrianvieira

Bio Rev. Brian Vieira is first of all the husband of one happy wife and three fun-loving godly boys. He and his wife Helen homeschooled each of their children and built a Christian school that enabled homeschoolers to meet and learn together. He is also an award-winning educator who spent 13 years working as a teacher in the New York City public school system. His innovative methods, strong classroom discipline, and passion for teaching earned him recognition as well as the respect of peers and students. He received his B.A. from Emory University, and his M.A. from Brooklyn College. Rev.Vieira is the founder and CEO of ScholarSkills Learning Center and the founder and principal of ScholarSkills Christian Academy. ScholarSkills Christian Academy is a private church affiliated school serving grades 3-8. ScholarSkills Learning Center is an after school tutorial and test preparation program which helps students to get better grades and higher test scores. Founded in 2001, ScholarSkills is dedicated to helping students to build solid foundations in reading, writing, and math. Rev. Vieira is an English Language Arts consultant to schools, community groups, and parents. He and his staff provide professional development and multi-sensory instructional materials for those teaching special needs students, English Language Learners, and students whose test scores rank them in the school’s lowest third. Rev. Vieira’s continuous commitment to excellence is probably best summarized by a parent who recently said to him: “Happy Father's Day to a man who has mentored many...spiritually and educationally. May God continue to give you the strength and endurance to do this work for our children and our community.”

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